Murphy's Bachelor in Paradise Blog Episode 3 - Battle of Hannah the Prequel

It's episode 3 and we're finally getting a rose ceremony. Here's how it shook out with the guys having the power the first week.

Derek and Demi, who is basically agreeing to kill time with him just to stay on the beach.

Clay and Nicole

Wills and Katie

Kevin and Sidney (yawn and yawn)

JPJ and Onyeka

Cam and Caelynn

Then Hannah's love basically comes down to whoever gets called up first, and it's Dylan! And she accepts. So, that means Blake is basically down to anyone he didn't make angry in the first couple of days or anyone Caelynn didn't taint and that leaves Tayshia, and she accepts. Everybody wants to stay on the island at least another day or two and this gives Tayshia a chance to kill time until the women are giving out the roses. She does insist that Blake apologize to all the women he disrespected.

Annalise is pretty much certain she'll be getting Chris' rose. But, when he gets up there he calls... Kristina? OK. Where'd that come from? (This isn't the last time we'll say that about Chris)

That means Bibiana, Jane and Annalise are gone. And now the ladies have the power this week, which means we're due for some dudes to walk into Paradise. And we get two fan favorites this week.

Up first is Jordan, who actually got engaged last year but it didn't work out. He gets a date card and starts trying to get the lay of the land. He pulls Hannah right away. Much is made of the fact that they are both models. She explains that he will be stepping on Dylan and Blake's toes if he asks her on a date, not that he cares.

He pulls Nicole aside next. She explains more of the Blake love pentagon situation to him and that Kristina is a part of it. So, Jordan pulls Kristina aside and she explains her part of the-y'know what? Why do we have to relive last week's episodes through Jordan? We know all this! Jordan is angry and disappointed in Blake for making a mess of Paradise before he got there. Jordan lands on Hannah for the date and she accepts. Everyone feels sorry for Dylan.

But, Hannah comes to him later saying she can't date three people and give them all the attention they deserve, so she'll have to reneg on the date. Jordan finally has to pull Blake aside and tell him to clear all of this up because he's leading them on and the women are confused.

Jordan's second choice, Nicole, accepts the date, mostly to make Clay jealous and they go ziplining with former BiP bartender Jorge.

Back on the beach, Blake trips on a rock while playing football and loses a toenail, much to the delight and laughter of Demi, Tayshia and Caelynn. Nice.

Perhaps that enjoyment of other's misery and pain is why God has karmically cursed her with Cam's undying affection. I mean, he is "all in" with Caelynn, talking about proposals, calling her his life partner. He reads her some prose, which is so cringey you actually hope he breaks into a rap. Caelynn is polite, in hopes of working off that karma debt, no doubt.

Next down the steps is Mike. Sorry. "Big Mike." Yes, we're still trying to make that happen. He has a date card and the girls are immediately thirsty. He pulls Caelynn aside which hurts extra for Cam because Mike was the one who accused Cam of telling Hannah B. about his health troubles or something last season to get a "pity rose." Caelynn does the right thing and gives Cam a brief mention, but tells Mike she's open. Mike talks with Onyeka next. She's absolutely enamoured. I don't think the letters J P or J entered the conversation at all. But, Mike picks Caelynn leading to I think the first time I've ever seen Onyeka not smiling. Cam is despondent, but who cares?

They go out to dinner and for some reason Mike is infatuated with Caelynn saying this could be their last first date ever. I think he's too good for her, but I am happy she's been rescued from Cam. The couple are ambushed by a Mariachi band and share some smooches.

Back on the beach, Wills' high wears off and he remembers that he gave his rose to Katie so he pulls her aside to lay out where he sees their relationship going and how into her he is. Katie gets crazy emotional. I mean, she is drunk girl crying. But somehow she stammers through the tears that she has to give other people a chance. Who? Cam? JPJ?

Chris gives her a shoulder to cry on, but he's not just a friendly face. He ends up saying that he wants to be with her. Where did THIS come from!? What happened to Kristina?! We still don't know where THAT came from!

Blake has been giving Dylan and Hannah their space all day but decides night time is the right time to make his move. He steals Hannah away and tells her he will be pursuing her. Then he invites her to dance in the moonlight in full sight of the rest of the cast. Apparently, Blake's move is swing dancing with a woman because plenty of other women at the bar recognize it. And swing dancing hasn't been cool in 20 years so good for Blake for not being a slave to trends! The dancing leads to smooching and Dylan can no longer stand by. He heads over but Blake won't let him steal her back. Hannah apparently has no say in the matter and stays quiet, which pretty much means she wants to side with Blake without hurting Dylan. The women accuse her of leading Dylan on and biding her time with him while she waits to Blake. It's all leading, very Game of Thrones style, to....

The Battle of Hannah.

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