Murphy's Bachelor in Paradise Blog Episode 2 - Breath of Fresh Air

We pick up in ep2 pretty much where we left off with Blake about to go on his date with Kristina. Before he does he pulls Tayshia aside to let her know their date last night meant something to him, but he wants to "explore" in paradise, as one does.

After some baha-ing in a dune buggy, Kristina confronts Blake about what happened at Stagecoach (drink everytime they say that this season and you'll be dead by 8:30) and tells him he handled the double hook-up with her and Caelynn very poorly. Blake doesn't see anything wrong with hooking up with two consenting friends within 24 hours of each other and frankly he's angry about getting the third degree over it on Kristina's Ambush Date. He tells her the only reason he could fathom her being upset over Stagecoach (drink!) is if she has feelings for him, like some feelings-having idiot. With Blake, it's "no relationship, no problem!"

After the date, Blake finally pulls Caelynn aside and he's "shocked" to discover she feels hurt about being ignored and treated like a dirty, little secret and being called a "mistake." This really is news to Blake who appears to have made the actual rookie mistake of taking a woman at her word when she said after casually hooking up that everything was "fine." Blake realizes he's the villain so far this season and immediately goes into damage control, turning his sad, shock acting up to Nic Cage levels.

Caelynn says the whole experience has ruined paradise for her because she's been hung up on Blake. To be fair, no one told her (besides producers, I guess) not to talk to anyone besides other women about Blake.

Meanwhile, Wills makes time with Hannah despite her coupling with Dylan. They smooch. She later 'fesses up to Dylan and he's bummed but he doesn't take it out on her and it seems to solidify what they have.

Bibi wants Clay but Nicole is vibing with him too. Perfect time for a date card for Clay which he gives to Nicole. Bibi is upset, but says, maybe their conversations are SO REAL he doesn't need to take her out to know where they stand. Yes, and maybe Jed's dogfood jingle will hit #1.

Annalise continues to trash Clay for "stringing along" Angela and tells everyone he isn't in Paradise for the "Right Reasons." She confronts Clay who tells her that he and Angela broke up three months ago. Nosy Annalise is misinformed? How can this be?! Clay asks if he isn't there for the right reasons, why is he in Paradise? Annalise says it's to make up for not making an NFL team and that he's not over Angela. Clay remains his usual calm self and heads off to a Mexican carnival with Nicole, where they smooch, he tells her he's over his last relationship and promises her his rose.

Annalise on the other hand is an emotional wreck. Demi takes her to task for getting involved and so heavily invested with only half of the story.

Blake is undone about his rose situation. He'll look like an a-hole whether he chooses Cae or Tay. He pulls Tayshia aside to see if that ship has sailed. It seems like it hasn't. He continues to apologize to Caelynn who says she just wants to move on. But, what's left now that she's beyond the only thing that was interesting about her? Oh God. Cam. Surely, Caelynn is not that thirsty for a rose. (Oh God. She is.)

JPJ and Onyeka seem solid so far, but Jane needs a rose so she decides to seduce JPJ with a killer taco. Like, literally. The taco almost kills him. As you can see above it was way too much vomit for prime time. It's a good thing he practices that hair flip so much.

Wills and Dylan appear to be setting up for a fight over Hannah, but she pulls Wills aside and says she's Team Dylan and she doesn't want him to waste his rose.

So, that's all settled because it's completely obvious what Blake's next move should be since he's got Caelynn, Kristina and Tayshia on the line. He does the most logical thing and pulls aside his #1: Hannah G.

Wait, wat?

Blake tells her that she is the reason he's there in the first place. He asks Hannah if they can proceed and she says, what the hell? It's the first week and she's there to explore. The smooch.

She confesses to Dylan immediately again ("Blake kissed me." I dunno. Looked mutual to me). He's upset at Hannah's double speak after she pretty much told him she's all in for him. (Yeah, but that was after Wills! This is Blake we're talking about!). Hannah is torn as it seems like she'll be choosing which rose she accepts when we finally, maybe, possibly get the first rose ceremony next week.

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