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David Archuleta captured the heart of millions while competing on American Idol, finishing as runner up and later finding success with his 2008 hit single "Crush," but his real life at the height of his fame was not a total feel-good story.
Archuleta, 35, recently spoke with People ahead of the release of his book Devout, out now, about how he felt unworthy while navigating the fame he achieved when he was younger, even revealing that the feeling led to him being homeless and living out of his car.
"I didn't feel like I deserved to take care of myself," he said. "So even though I was having a lot of success in the public, I was sleeping in my car a lot of times because that's what I believed I deserved."
Archuleta expands on this in Devout, documenting his struggles with feeling ashamed of his sexuality due to the beliefs he was taught growing up in the Mormon Church. The "Hell Together" singer, who came out as queer in 2021, explained that while staying with a relative in Los Angeles, he chose to sleep in his car or on a friend's couch due to their unhealthy relationship, even though he could afford a hotel.
"I had concocted this belief that I didn't deserve to treat myself well," he wrote. "It was an act of contrition — for my wicked thoughts, for allowing myself to be manipulated by so. many. I was at the height of fame, and I chose homelessness. You can have everything, but worthiness comes from within, and I had none."
Now years later, Aruchuleta is in a better place in his mental health and sexuality journey and is "just grateful to be alive." He reflected on that time of his life with People.
"It's nice to look back and be like, "I got through that in my very imperfect way of doing it, but I made it through it and I found a way to feel better about myself,'" he said. "And even if I wasn't able to accept it at the time, I can look back 16, 17 years later and say, 'I worked my a-- off. I worked as hard as I could.' Even feeling miserable through all that and feeling ashamed to even be there, I worked as hard as I knew how to."